I admit it, I’m a die-hard of The Bachelor show. If you’ve been watching The Bachelor this season, you’ll be aware it has already been full of cringe-worthy moments, more than I can stomach. I feel so sorry for these beautiful women who are falling over one another in their quest for The Bachelor’s attention. Why don’t they realise their behaviour reeks of desperation?
Like Romy’s repeated attempts to kiss the Bachelor. Or the way Cass follows his every move and clings to him at every opportunity. What’s even worse is the way these women speak about each other, placing themselves in a position of superiority and passing judgment on which woman would be ‘good enough’ for Nick.
But I’m just as guilty of try-hard behaviours as anyone. I stayed in unhealthy relationships for too long, I changed my behaviour just to try to gain their approval. I was the on-again off-again girl, because I kept going back in an attempt to make them love me. My friends told me I could do better, my family watched on in despair. But I didn’t see. I didn’t understand my behaviour stemmed from fear, not love.
FEAR MAKES US MISS THE RED FLAGS.
These red flags are the signs that would ordinarily tell you that he’s not that into you. That’s why watching The Bachelor is simultaneously so entertaining and so cringe-worthy: because we on the outside see what those inside don’t. We see The Bachelor’s reluctance. We watch him pull away, we see him ignore the clinging, we hear his words of polite refusal. But the bachelorette vying for his attention misses all these red flags so we watch her desperation. This desperation is really an expression of her fear.
So what do we fear? We fear we are not enough as we are. We believe that a relationship will makes us feel validated as human beings. This then ignites competition between women; we judge and put others down in an attempt to make us feel better about ourselves.
Of course, none of this is conscious. Most women are completely unaware what they are doing comes from fear. We don’t talk about it. No one teaches us how to look inside ourselves, analyse our own behaviour and heal ourselves from this fear. So we blindly keep doing the same as what The Bachelor contestants are doing; we cling on in desperation, we change our behaviour for attention. And we make ourselves the subject of pity in the process.
It breaks my heart to see women being pitied or ridiculed all because they do not see their own beauty. It’s my greatest desire to help women discover how truly awe-inspiring and beautiful they are and so I’ve created my 100% Empowered Masterclass. It will teach you exactly how to break free from painful efforts to attract relationships, and show you how to find real love by loving yourself first. Find out more here.