When you’ve been betrayed, you know it’s like being stabbed in the stomach and having the blade churn through your insides. It’s horrific.
Discovery of infidelities, lies, or hidden addictions can make you wonder who that stranger is that’s been sleeping in your bed. It can tear a family apart and leave you reeling.
Recovery from the trauma of betrayal is definitely quite a process, but the idea is that you’re supposed to not only recover, you are supposed to shine even brighter than ever before. That’s how life should work, in theory. However, I often see beautiful women who are stuck somewhere along their journey to healing. They can’t let go of the fear of the pain and so remain in a state of constant doubt, constant worry. They are suspicious of new partners which inevitably sabotages potential relationships. You simply cannot have a healthy relationship if you do not trust.
One of the questions these women ask me is, “how will I ever trust someone again?”
It’s pretty common to ask this question in the months after you’ve been betrayed, but sometimes this question lingers in a person’s mind for much longer than it should. I even knew one woman who was still deathly afraid of entering another relationship 9 years after her divorce!
Betrayal has the ability to destroy, definitely. More often than not, it will signal the end of a relationship. But betrayal should NOT destroy trust. in fact, it should do the opposite. Betrayal should GROW trust.
Well, it’s like this: when you have been betrayed you learn an almighty lesson. The experience teaches you how people will act; what odd and sneaky behaviours they engage in when they are trying to hide something from you. Being secretive with their phone, going out at strange hours of the day or night, not answering their phone when you call…the list goes on. You will now be an expert on picking up on signs of suspicious behaviour.
This is exactly why you should relax. You are a red flag authority! The Queen of Insight. A Woman of Wisdom. All of this should make you MORE confident of your future partner selection, not less!
So grow powerful from your experience, because you now have greater knowledge. You are smarter and more intuitive than ever before. When you do this the issue of trust is reframed: instead of distrusting others you now can fully trust yourself.
If you are struggling with trust after a relationship break up, my 100% Empowered Masterclass teaches women how to have the confidence to back themselves all the time, in any relationship. Register for a free call to find out more.