Disempowered relationships can be likened to a see-saw with two participants. On one side sits a person who feels helpless and flawed, but cannot tap into their awesomeness and on the other side sits a person who seeks reassurance they are amazing, but cannot bear to acknowledge their flaws.
When we are in a disempowered state, we need another person on the other side of that see-saw to keep us off the ground. So you attract someone on to your see-saw who has a need opposite to yours. They jump on to one side, you jump on the other and the game commences with you both trying to achieve equilibrium, creating a co-dependent relationship.
The trouble is, balance is never achieved in the long run. The plank wobbles and rises and falls as you each reposition yourselves trying to meet your own needs and predict the movements of the other.
Compare this with a person who is empowered. An empowered person stands alone. She embraces her flaws and her awesomeness equally, centred on the plank, at peace. She needs no one to help her balance for she balances herself by acknowledging and accepting all of her being. She is whole.
Many of us have at least one teetering see-saw relationship in our lives, whether that be with a partner, parents or others. What’s worse, many of us do not even recognise or question the nature of our relationships until something drastic happens that disrupts the co-dependency, making us fall off our playground equipment and hit the ground hard.
So how can you assess the health of your relationship with yourself and with others? It’s quite simple.
Am I repeatedly criticising, judging or trying to assert my way?
Do I feel obligated, and am I repeatedly helping the same person in the same way?
Do I feel ashamed, embarrassed or guilty?
If these feelings arise when you relate to specific people in your life, it’s a sign you’re sitting on one side of the see-saw and they are on the other. By identifying what you are feeling you will begin to understand who you attract into your life. It will also help you see what you need to work on within yourself so you can embrace who you really are: a beautiful being, with all your flaws and awesomeness in perfect balance.